Vote Marlboro Man 2008

Are you an undecided Voter? Well even as the polls close down on the east coast the choice of your vote for this election and all other elections should be clear. Vote for the Marlboro Man. When you vote for the Marlboro Man you are voting for delicious smoky flavor that always picks you up and never lets you down. A vote for the Marlboro Man is a vote for traditional America, a vote for cloth covered wagons and a vote for a simpler time where a man, his horse and his trusty pack of cigarettes could relax under a clear starry night.

Yes the Marlboro man is against higher taxes, he is for social security and the protection of America is key, just look at that six shooter and lasso he is always carrying around. So, on this election day 2008 and on all subsequent elections, light up, take the drag, enjoy that rich, bold flavor that tastes of America, freedom and all that is right in this world and pull the lever for the Marlboro Man.

Jesus had a baby and he named it Camel Crush

Guess what – Jesus had a baby and he named it Camel Crush.

That’s right folks the good lord and savior Jesus Christ cloned himself, without the use of stem cells nonetheless (it was a miracle). He then mated with his clone, who was also now a female and they had a baby. This baby was named Camel Crush Cigarette. Now the Camel Crush, in much the same fashion that the good lord looked like a regular man, the Camel Crush looks like a regular cigarette. Jesus looked like an ordinary carpenter, Camel Crush looks like an ordinary smoke.

But inside of both there is something holy, different and extraordinary. Jesus had the light of God shining inside of his core. Camel Crush has a cool orb of divine menthol. Jesus turned water into wine. Camel Crush turns an ordinary smoky cigarette into a cool menthol treat.

How it works. Jesus turned water into wine by waving his hands over the urn. Camel Crush turns plain into flavor by squeezing the filter.

How Jesus sacrificed his body to save man. The cool, minty menthol orb sacrifices itself for to save man’s pallet with delicious, delicious flavor.

Thank you Jesus for being brave enough to clone yourself and provide us with this child. Oh come all ye faithful, see the glory that is Camel Crush.

The Best Cigarette

Billy Collins - Former US Poet Laureate lets me know why I love to smoke in a very fancy fashion. Thank you sir for your ode to the humble cigarettes.

Lucky Strike Cigarettes - the love to march and they love America

American and smoking have a relationship that dates back to the days of the founding fathers.

As well as a rich tradition in song "with his Corn Cob pipe and his button nose and two eyes made out of coal."

No corn cob pipe, no Frosty. No Lucky Strikes, no America.

Hookah Smoke Bubble - Impress College Kids

Anyone that says smoking is not cool has never seen this video. Kid makes a massive smoke bubble with some apple tobacco from his majestic hookah.

Ginger kid kicking a butt

Smoking crosses the boundary of red, black and blond. Thank you god for this peace making process.

Sexy 120 Cigarette Light Ups

120 Cigarette - how do you go beyond 100? It's magic.

smoking women

Smoking women

Cubans and Americans can agree - Smoking is Sexxy

Cuban Cigars or Cuban Cigarillos smoke em if you got em!

Everytime I light up, I say Fuck You to all non-smokers

To Everyone that is a non-smoker.

Every time we light our cigarettes, we are saying to you "FUCK YOU". All us smokers are. Yes, we all know that these things are most likely going to be the reason for our deaths. Fuck you. Yes, I know that my death sticks second hand smoke is probably going to take a few years off your life. Fuck you. Yes, I know that you cannot smoke in public places, basically anywhere anymore, but we are going to do it anyways until we get kicked out. Fuck you. Yes, I know that this tobacco rods are going to cause our teeth to become yellow, our skin to prematurely wrinkle, and going to make everything we own to have a weird smokey scent. Fuck you.

But, what I am basically saying to all you non-smokers that continually tell me how bad cigarettes are, and that they are going to kill. Tell me something I don't know.

And

Fuck You

Watch out kids, when you light up you will need tap shoes to go with that cool smokey flavor

Cigarette Phone > iPhone

The new craze on town is the iPhone. Let's take a moment to forget the hype, take a 10 minute smoking break, get back to work, crunch the numbers, run the joke to long and revel in the majesty that is cigarette phone! The cigPhone will be the wave of the FUTURE! Gaze in awe:

"Ring ring"
"Hello?"
"Just cool and delicious flavor calling"
"Why I have not heard from you in years"
"That's because congress is trying to regulate me"
"Well, I love cigarettes and I dislike institutions with low approval ratings"
"Then you my friend made the right choice in voting for Cigarette Phone."
"cigPhone, I love you."
"Kiss me"
*click

Great Kids Costume! My child is going to be the coolest kid on the block.

Can you see the posting theme of the evening? What is things that are not really cigarettes but look like cigarettes. Smokers everywhere rejoice! Finally a Halloween costume that will suit your needs. I give you, Cigarette Man, a super hero from the future where global warming and the negative impacts of smoking all proved false... or at least a future where people mind their own business and let people smoke in peace. The man the dragon born legend. Cigarette man:

It's like an M.C. Escher painting he is a cigarette smoking a cigarette. A heavenly man inside of heaven. Layers of delicious.

Things that are not cigarettes but look like them Night Rolls On!

Cigarette Truck! I died and went to Semi Heaven.

This is an ad that is supposed to imply that cigarettes are filled with dangerous and deadly chemicals. Unfortunately all this does is make me think that trucks that look like cigarettes are wicked awesome. Instead of congress trying to regulate smoking we should spend our tax payer dollars to paint all trucks to look like this magnificent cigarette truck. If there was a truck painted like a lighter I would smoke all of cigarette truck with gusto. When this pony rolled down the streets I saw smokers everywhere setting world records in the 100 meter dash. Keep trucking and keep smoking. SMOKERS WANTED!

Cigarette Hero

This man is an American national treasure. I hope his body is dipped in gold and with a cigarette always burning in his shining lips just like the Eternal Flame that watches over presidents. Thank you smoking champion, you dare devil of cool refreshing flavor. We salute you and your smoking feat. God bless America land of the free home of the brave. Smokers wanted! If this man and cigarettes are not cool then I do not know what is and I do not want to live in that world.

It's so easy even a Crab Can do it!

If smoking is good enough for a crab, then smoking cigarettes is good enough for humans. Smoke on kind creatures of God's good green earth.

Why Drink Beer when you can smoke Cigarettes?

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Smoking Cigaretts Makes you Smarter, Stronger and More Handsome. Smoking Cigarettes also helps you find a lovely significiant other.

In the '70s, you picked up women by blowing cigarette smoke in their face. They loved it. (from CollegeHumor)